Letter to my daughter

Thought I'd just post what I have written for her. Since the two of them were born I have sporadically written to them (in a secret book). They can have the book one day when I'm finished.

Wow, another year is gone. I watched you walk down the isle and that was the most beautiful thing I have seen, since the day you were born.
I remember clearly the first time I set eyes on you. You were the most perfect baby in the whole universe. People stopped us in the street to tell me how beautiful you were, and nothing has changed, you are still so beautiful.
A smile that lights up a room and a laugh that is contagious. Since R came into your life you and we once again become the close mother and daughter that I so hoped we would one day become again. That’s not to say we haven’t had our arguments, but it doesn’t seem so shattering now.
It took a while for me to adapt from being a mom to a little girl in need, to a mom to a responsible, loving adult, who makes me so very proud.
The change in you since R came along is magnificent. You have your confidence back, and while dad wondered for a while if you were rushing things, I knew the moment I saw you together that he was the one. I prayed you would find an A(dad) and you did. Love makes us whole, and the right love makes us better than what we would be without it.
The days of N and C are gone, and I am so glad that you chose well.
All the wedding preparations were such fun, and I am still sorry you can’t see how truly beautiful you were in your white dress. Everyone has commented how stunning you looked on your very special day.
The black dress change was also beautiful and I was so happy to see you happy.
My one wish is that you and B would get past the niggles you two seem to have every so often. I hope that in the years to come you will once again become the best friends you have always been, and girl child, remember that true friends are so very hard to come by. Nurture your relationship with your baby sister, it is gold.
Try not to focus your entire being on your wonderful husband. You must have outside friends too. Real ones. Some things guys are just no good at. Dad is my best friend, but he doesn’t always understand the emotional stuff and that’s why we have girl friends as best friends too. Don’t isolate yourself. I did that in my first marriage and with devastating consequences. I am not saying R is anything like your dad, he’s not, but when we look around and only see them, it’s just not healthy.
The first year of marriage is the honeymoon phase, a lot of push and pull will be going on. You’ll get through this easily. You both have had a hard time and the obstacles in your way will only make you stronger. The one bit of advice I can give you, is that, in time, you will both be attracted to other people, remember that this is normal, neither of you is dead, but keep true to each other, no matter how hard things may be at home.
There are plenty of ups and downs to come, and marriage is not always a honeymoon. Work at it. Give him space when he needs it, and take space when you need it. You both need to grow and with communication, will grow together. The commitment you have made should be for life, and I believe this is the one for you, so make sure you are always one hundred percent committed, having said that, don’t expect him to always fill or fulfil your every need. Men and women are too different for this to ever be possible. You have to have independence, and so does he.
Friends will come and go, take the best out of every friendship, no matter how short. Some friends stay a short while and are there just to help you through a particular patch, others are there for bad times, and others for good. But sometimes you find friends who are there for everything. Remember to be there for them as much as they are for you. Sometimes it easy to focus on ourselves too much and we become a drain. Make an effort to not do this. It took me almost 30 years to find my best friend. She is loyal and kind and everyday makes me a better person. She gives when needed and I give back. We have weathered many storms and I can’t thank God enough for blessing me with her.
You don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in forcing this on anyone, but almost every day I thank Him for giving me such wonderful children. I thank Him that you are happy, and I thank Him for the gift of A. I look around every so often and realise how very lucky we are too. We have a beautiful home, and never want for food. It could be so different, so I am very thankful. I know you have had a hard time, and this is probably why you question, but I don’t believe God ever gives us more than we can handle. I hope someday you can also believe.
As you know we have been accepted to Oz, but it seems that this move may not happen. I am going with the flow, but will not even think about the day if we decide to go and you won’t be coming with. You have your own life, and dad says we need to be sure of being “safe” in our retirement years, but I also want to see my grandchildren. No more on that. We’ll just take it as it comes.
Going to go now.
Love you always
Mom