Who was to know that these two little human beings would be the most important beings in my world. Almost 21 years ago, and yet I remember the minute that she came into this world. I remember my own dreams for this tiny tiny little person. I remember watching her breathe the first night. I remember not sleeping for weeks, because I wanted to make sure that this little miracle was breathing. I remember touching her fingers and getting a thill everytime they curled around mine. I can see her eyes staring at me when she first woke up at 2 in the morning. I remember her first smile, the same smile that almost 21 years later still melts my heart.
I remember. I remember.
I remember getting her clothes ready three months before she was due, and feeling the rolling of a still small person inside of me. I remember the thrill of her kicks every time I got in water.
I can still see the young person that I was, wanting so badly, to meet this little person who had changed my world forever, before she had ever seen the light or the wonder of the outside for the first time.
In all this time, the wonder of that smile, has never left me. So many laughs , and so many tears, and still ...one smile and I am putty.
In the last three years , this beautiful, wonderous little soul has had her own fair share of dark nights, and even darker knights. So wished that I could spare her. So wish that I could grow up all over again and take away these butterfly pains. The cacoon seems so tight right now, and it is so hard to stand back and watch this creation of mine battle........but I can see...............
I can still remember how you smelt.....I can still feel your warmth, and while right now you can't see it, I know that a beautiful butterfly is waiting to take flight.
This is the wonder of Bean.