Tagged - ok I'll play

I was tagged by Pat so here we go.

Five things about me -

1. Married for the second time to a German man who is the best thing that happened to myself and my two girls

2. Addicted to series programmes that focus on difficult love stories, and always have a book to read.

3. Am an insomniac

4. I dreamed of being a social worker when I was young, but now know I would never have been strong enough to deal with other peoples pain.

5. Can ride horses and bikes, but both make me nervous.

Will not be tagging anyone as the only blog I follow is Pats.

Idols

Now I have something to look forward to on sundays. Idols.
I have already chosen my favourite and each week the stress of voting keeps me bribing and coercing friends and family to vote to keep him in.
Graeme has a simular style to the Idol I liked in the last season. Munroe.
So go Graeme, and heres hoping your idol dream comes true.
Thank you for giving me something to get excited about.

Deids

My grand mother told me yesterday that hearing my voice calms her.
She phones when they are in trouble, (ill, or sad and on Friday because they had been broken into)
Most times there isn't much I can do, but I am really flattered that I help in such a simple way.
I was thinking about my sister in law, and the last few weeks we spent together.
She has the same calming effect on me. No matter how chaotic life may be she seems to instill a kind of peace.
Part of it, I guess, is that she is logical when all else seems so illogical.
She is also extremely loyal,and there is a real comfort in knowing that I can call her friend.I think the other part is her immeasurable love for everyone.
Being around Deids you can just feel her compassion.

She mocks herself , and her temper, but that is just so much a part of the charm of this wonderfully strong lady.
The girls fell in love with her the first time they saw her, feeling up and down her stockinged leg......(they were about 4 and 2 years old at the time)
Her own beautiful children are a testimony to what a grounded person she is.
We have shared so many memories, mostly good ones, that we can (and I do) think back on with both laughter and sadness.
Sadness that our lives have taken such different paths, and that we will not be able to share in the little things for a while to come. Talking on skype is great, but nothing beats being able to hug someone hey?!

Valentines

How Do I Love Thee?
poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Away

I can now safely say that I have NEVER been more frightened. I booked a night away at Heia Safari as part of a birthday package.
We started saturday morning at 4am - fetch Pat and Eddie, thenoff to DE WILDT Cheetah Park tour at 8.30 am. It was amazing. The Cheetah is such a gorgeous graceful cat. We saw the enclosures, and even went into an ares where they are free and we could see them up close. One of them hissed and spat at the guy who was opening the gates for us. They know food is coming so follow us until they are fed. We got to have a photo shoot with one of their ambassadors. Stunning.The wild dogs reminded me of Benj with their crying and the hyenas close up, were not half as ugly as I would have thought.
We then booked into Heia Safari, had a game drive, saw Rhinos and hundreds of buck of various species. Heia is one of my favourite places , soothes the soul.
The sundowner at the hippo pool was a good end to the day.
Off to supper and bed.
Sunday morning 4am we got up to prepare for the big event.
Balloon trip. Pat,Eddie and Andreas loved it. I have never been so frightened.
While the flight is so very peaceful, and at no time were we in any danger, the height was my undoing. Over the tree tops , I was fine, and loved the views.
At 5400 feet I found it hard to breathe and all I could do was control the panic.
Thankfully the trip was an hour, and in that hour we only went that high three times.
Coming down, and heading for a landing , and finally I could begin to wipe my streaming sweat streaked hands off.
It was all worth it, and I can say I did it, but I won't be doing that again.
It was an adventure, and I am so glad that it was enjoyed by Andreas, as thsi was the point after all.
So - feet on the ground, champagne and orange juice.
Breakfast back at Heia, and we finished the weekend off with a visit to Glenburn. Where this fairy tale that I live called marriage all began. How beautiful it still is.
How lovely to get away - seemed to be so much longer than one night.
Soul food.

Another day

Spent the day in Mulbarton hospital. Bianca had her appendix removed this afternoon, after being booked in at about 9am this morning.
Spent almost 10 hours there by her side (or outside the theatre) so am pretty tired, but all's well, and she looked a little better when I left just after 7pm.
Andreas (dad) was there from 6 til 8.
If all goes well, she'll be out thursday morning. They want to just watch her as a laproscopy is a little different to a normal cut. Must have more "risk" as I was out the next day if I remember correctly.
Lets hope this is it for us and that the rest of this year now goes smoothly.

To my friends

The last few months have been really tough. Divorce talks, emigration woes, and the big one, child drama's.
Sounds so insignificant when in writing, but each drama has been a major one, and they have happened one after another. A roller coaster ride from hell,turmoil and chaos reigns,and have been so drained,draining and demanding.
A bit of sanity has settled today and while I can I want to just say thanks.

Thank you Ronnie for listening to my moaning everyday, for worrying at night and phoning to check on how I am doing. For visiting Cheryldene, and being on her side when I couldn't , thank you.
For always smiling and for making sure that we laugh at least once a day.For the knowledge that no matter how tiring or wrong I may be, you are always on my side. You have never judged, and have had a never ending amount of encouragement.

Thank you Pat, for always making sure I see the other side of any Andreas issue. For letting me share in your pain and grounding me when sometimes I over react. Thank you for all your advice on how to handle the girls and sharing your experience with me, and when you have had no advice, for just sympathising.For letting me rant and rave, without interrupting or making me feel stupid.

For trusting me, and for always being trustworthy. I am really so grateful for your friendship and your patience.

Elaine and Margs have listened when I have needed it, and I have always known that they do both care, even if there isn't always enough time in the day.
That alone is such a comfort.

Now I am going to shrug off this cloud of despair, and try not to be this miserable person who is no fun to be with.I am going to stop obsessing about things I cannot control and try not to get so wrapped up in the drama's that seem to keep spinning into my orbit.

Thank you. Without you, I would not have made it through the last few months, and been able to have to strength to shake off this dark shroud.